I'm the king of the world!!

I'm a relatively big fan of the blog abovethelaw.com

Many of their posts are quite humorous. I found a recent one especially humorous and a good description of the legal profession.

From Tuesday, September 29th, by Elie Mystal:

"I’m not particularly interested in the history of the Titanic, but my cursory understanding of the tragedy tells me that there were not enough life boats for all of the passengers. That seems like a basic design flaw to me.

As clear as I can tell, current law students are suffering from a similar lack of suitable escape options."


Design flaw indeed.


As for the king of the world, I can only hope to be in the running for court jester of the world. I'm not a good writer, but I try to be funny from time to time. There are a couple of recent posts on blacksheep that I'm somewhat proud of.

After a back and forth argument on blacksheep with "Big Law Guy" including a bit about how lawyers in big law get yelled at for crappy briefs, here is post #1:

Coder Emeritus said...
You. can't. handle the truth.

Son, we live in a world with documents, and those documents need to be coded by men with mice. Who's gonna do it? You? You, BigLawyer?

I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You weep at being yelled at for your crappy briefs and you curse the coders for their "easy" jobs. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know: that coders jobs, while easy, probably saves you time. And my existence, while grotesque, and incomprehensible to you, saves you time.

You don't want to know the truth because deep down inside in places you don't talk about at your BigLaw dinner parties, you WANT us coding those docs. You NEED us coding those docs.

We use tags like "privileged," "hot document," and "QC complete." We use them as the backbone of a proud stint as a coding quality controller. You use them as a punchline.

I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man whose firm bills and bills for the very documents which my team codes, and then questions the speed at which they are coded. I'd rather you said "thank you," and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a mouse, and start coding. Either way, I don't give a damn what you think you are entitled to.
September 12, 2009 1:50 AM


Inspired by the movie A Few Good Men, that was probably my funniest moment.

I'm glad a couple of people liked it.

Anonymous said...
ok...that was good. well played.
September 12, 2009 2:03 AM

Anonymous said...
Wow, 1:50 - that may have been the funniest thing I have seen since Sylvester Stallone tried comedy in the movie Oscar.
September 13, 2009 9:24 PM



My second jokey post was created after some other commentor mentioned the Kansas State Fair in a random fashion.

Coder Emeritus said...
So, this is a story, all 'bout how
My life got flipped, turned upside down,
I'd like to tell you the story
Just sit right there
And I'll tell you how I became the rides manager of the Pennsylvania State Fair.

I went to law school, cuz I was told it pays,
But as a coder was how I spent most of my days.
Tagging things "priveleged" and "hot" and such.
And ordering Biggies from Potbelly's for lunch.
When an announcement came, the news wasn't good.
The case might settle, in fact, it probably would.
I got in one little layoff and my mom got scared.
She said "you'll help your auntie and uncle manage the Pennsylvania state fair."

I drove for hours in my Lexus, and when the fair came near,
I could no longer see the Philly skyline in my mirror,
I saw other Lexii in the lot, but thought it was rare,
After all, these were workers at the Pennsylvania state fair.

I had dinner with my auntie about 7 or 8,
then I said to her "Thanks. Good night, see ya later."
Looked at my kingdom, I might be happy there,
Managing the kiddie rides at the Pennsylvania state fair.
September 23, 2009 12:26 AM

Inspired by the Fresh Prince of Bel Air, I think this was a decent sequel to my can't handle to truth adaptation. At least one person liked it.

Anonymous said...
Nice Coder E!
September 23, 2009 3:29 AM


So, that ends my foray into court jesterhood. And I believe this entry will end my superfun misadventures in blog writing. Special thanks to the several people who commented on my earlier blog entries, especially to stateofbeasley. Hope you've found a satisfying alternative career.

As for coding, who knows if I'll ever get back to it. Hopefully, I'll find something more worthwhile to do. Fingers crossed.

The fourth quarter is upon us. It's time to break out the winter coats. Halloween is right around the corner, and it'll be Christmas before we know it.

As an early Christmas present, it would seem that the coding market is bouncing back a little bit. NYC and DC have started a mild coder recovery, and Philly is showing signs of life. Green shoots!!!

Best of luck to all the coders and former coders out there!